Timmisduss Quimmistuntik is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, temperamental alligator.

Timmisduss Quimmistuntik created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timmisduss Quimmistuntik, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Timmisduss Quimmistuntik, she will turn you into a mouse.

Timmisduss Quimmistuntik's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Timmisduss Quimmistuntik's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.