Bambarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, all-powerful newt.

Bambarn created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bambarn, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bambarn, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bambarn's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bambarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Do not keep six tapirs in a large pit.

3. Always look after injured badgers.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Hide if five mice approach from the east.