Ortponpark Tenyartsit Yogbasstetti is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ruthless faun.

Ortponpark Tenyartsit Yogbasstetti created the Sunflower Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortponpark Tenyartsit Yogbasstetti, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ortponpark Tenyartsit Yogbasstetti, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Ortponpark Tenyartsit Yogbasstetti's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Ortponpark Tenyartsit Yogbasstetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about special relativity.

2. Never go into gray rooms.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Hide from orange foxes for they are unholy.