Nullooptim is a god.

She takes the form of a large, uncaring turtle.

Nullooptim created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nullooptim, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nullooptim, she will turn you into a worm.

Nullooptim's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Nullooptim's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.