Fenpanlan is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-knowing cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fenpanlan created the Milkyway two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fenpanlan, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fenpanlan, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fenpanlan's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Fenpanlan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

3. Erect nine lead sculptures of Fenpanlan on top of important buildings.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never laugh near ants.