Dinnarlbad is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, smart swan.

Dinnarlbad created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dinnarlbad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dinnarlbad, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Dinnarlbad's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Dinnarlbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never think about photosynthesis.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Dogs are not to be trusted.