Gofwonbattaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, selfish warg.

Gofwonbattaf created a charm quark two years ago.

If you believe in Gofwonbattaf, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gofwonbattaf, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gofwonbattaf's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Gofwonbattaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gofwonbattaf.

5. Never play with disobedient children.