Yattonvonkgun is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, annoying wombat.

Yattonvonkgun created an atom three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattonvonkgun, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yattonvonkgun, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yattonvonkgun's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Yattonvonkgun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat tomatoes.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yattonvonkgun.

5. Always look after injured tortoises.