Gomsawdosstit is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, fussy giraffe.

Gomsawdosstit created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomsawdosstit, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gomsawdosstit, she will strike you with lightening.

Gomsawdosstit's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gomsawdosstit's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Gomsawdosstit in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

4. Do not speak about garlic.

5. Fast once a month.