Bonpodquim is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, fast porpoise.

Bonpodquim created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Bonpodquim, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bonpodquim, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bonpodquim's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bonpodquim's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never feed lots of turnips to cats while wearing turquoise kilts.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Never talk about galaxies.