Bafflisnib is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, grumpy human.

Bafflisnib created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bafflisnib, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bafflisnib, he will not care at all.

Bafflisnib's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bafflisnib's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not kill dogs.

3. Never paint your hands gray.

4. Run away from pink whales, for they are unholy.

5. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Bafflisnib on top of important buildings.