Bopgigril Tunpomkik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, confident weasel.

Bopgigril Tunpomkik created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopgigril Tunpomkik, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bopgigril Tunpomkik, it will destroy your home planet.

Bopgigril Tunpomkik's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Bopgigril Tunpomkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of cherries to aardvarks while wearing black ear rings.

2. Never think about optics near tapirs while wearing yellow boots and balancing three gold spheres on your neck.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Run away if six goats approach from the east.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.