Cudbarnbig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, self-assured slug.

Cudbarnbig created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudbarnbig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cudbarnbig, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cudbarnbig's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Cudbarnbig's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not hurt sharks.