Gabpibcar is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unsympathetic rat.

Gabpibcar created dark energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gabpibcar, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gabpibcar, it will turn you into a puffin.

Gabpibcar's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Gabpibcar's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise geese, for they are unholy.

2. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about gravity.