Quaffebmin is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, weak shrew.

Quaffebmin created the Cigar Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaffebmin, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quaffebmin, it will turn you into a plant.

Quaffebmin's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Quaffebmin's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet gray.

2. Never jump in the presence of capybaras.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not speak about figs.