Battamwap is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, conceited aardvark.

Battamwap created light seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Battamwap, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Battamwap, it will strike you with lightening.

Battamwap's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Battamwap's Holy Commandments

1. Battamwap loves moths, so they must be respected.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never hurt geese.