Fomhonlin Yokhivpak is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, witty crow.

Fomhonlin Yokhivpak created the planet Saturn six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomhonlin Yokhivpak, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fomhonlin Yokhivpak, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fomhonlin Yokhivpak's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Fomhonlin Yokhivpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat gooseberries.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Fomhonlin Yokhivpak must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Run away from magenta dolphins, for they are unholy.