Wantonzed is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, idiotic grasshopper.

Wantonzed created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Wantonzed, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Wantonzed, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Wantonzed's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Wantonzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near doves.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Feed all hungry shrews.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Always wear purple.