Tag Rawnulkik is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, omnipotent manatee.

Tag Rawnulkik created energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tag Rawnulkik, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tag Rawnulkik, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tag Rawnulkik's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tag Rawnulkik's Holy Commandments

1. Tag Rawnulkik loves seals, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never think about special relativity near hamsters while wearing red ear rings and balancing nine silicon spheres on your hands.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never jump in the presence of dogs.