Stragcimflab Gubgudciss Talnakgabort is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, weak mole.

Stragcimflab Gubgudciss Talnakgabort created water two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stragcimflab Gubgudciss Talnakgabort, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Stragcimflab Gubgudciss Talnakgabort, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Stragcimflab Gubgudciss Talnakgabort's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Stragcimflab Gubgudciss Talnakgabort's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Never paint your back fawn.

4. Never skip near mice.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Stragcimflab Gubgudciss Talnakgabort.