Quimlagtip is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, duplicitous bear.

Quimlagtip created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimlagtip, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Quimlagtip, it will not invite you to parties.

Quimlagtip's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Quimlagtip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from gray sharks, for they are unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never write about dwarf planets.