Bedcemcin is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, compassionate whale.

Bedcemcin created life eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedcemcin, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bedcemcin, he will turn you into a rock.

Bedcemcin's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Bedcemcin's Holy Commandments

1. Bedcemcin must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near voles while wearing violet skirts and balancing three lead spheres on your feet.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.