Arnstigten is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, able jellyfish.

Arnstigten created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Arnstigten, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Arnstigten, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Arnstigten's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Arnstigten's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Arnstigten.

2. Put Arnstigten first in all things.

3. Do not speak about peanuts.

4. Never talk about nucleic acids.

5. Never feed figs to whales while wearing black kilts.