Karnigfut is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, compassionate grasshopper.

Karnigfut created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Karnigfut, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Karnigfut, he will turn you into a goat.

Karnigfut's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Karnigfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Karnigfut in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never feed coconuts to pigs while wearing mauve shirts.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Karnigfut.