Zed is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, witless guinea pig.

Zed created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Zed, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zed, she will turn you into a plant.

Zed's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Zed's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Never think about special relativity near nematodes while wearing green hats and balancing four copper spheres on your face.

3. Zed loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

4. Always obey Zed's priests.

5. Always take life seriously.