Fedzedcem is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, tiresome aardvark.

Fedzedcem created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fedzedcem, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fedzedcem, it will strike you with lightening.

Fedzedcem's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Fedzedcem's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Fedzedcem.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Fedzedcem on top of all buildings.