Vadcunomin Gattonbif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, self-confident yak.

Vadcunomin Gattonbif created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadcunomin Gattonbif, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vadcunomin Gattonbif, he will torture you forever.

Vadcunomin Gattonbif's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Vadcunomin Gattonbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Never feed oranges to whales while wearing boots.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.