Guthudwig is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, egotistical shrew.

Guthudwig created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Guthudwig, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Guthudwig, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Guthudwig's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Guthudwig's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near dogs while wearing red stockings and balancing seven titanium spheres on your neck.

4. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always pray immersed in water.