Tifbetcan is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, unfair gnu.

Tifbetcan created the Andromeda Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifbetcan, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tifbetcan, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tifbetcan's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Tifbetcan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not cook food in pots.