Taddotgig is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, impressive narwhal.

Taddotgig created snails three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Taddotgig, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Taddotgig, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Taddotgig's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Taddotgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest indigo.

2. Never hop near voles.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never play with disobedient children.