Fabsitkimomt is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unselfish tortoise.

Fabsitkimomt created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabsitkimomt, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fabsitkimomt, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fabsitkimomt's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Fabsitkimomt's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Fabsitkimomt on top of all buildings.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Run away from mauve snakes, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.