Konquagjon is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, tiresome jaguar.

Konquagjon created an electron twelve years ago.

If you believe in Konquagjon, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Konquagjon, it will throw large rocks at you.

Konquagjon's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Konquagjon's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Retreat if four seals approach from the south.

5. Always help turtles in need.