Bamnatbed is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, boastful armadillo.

Bamnatbed created time and space two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamnatbed, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bamnatbed, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bamnatbed's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bamnatbed's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Always help sick geese.

3. Always treat ants with great respect.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near moths while wearing cyan rings and balancing five silicon spheres on your head.

5. You must pray to Bamnatbed four times a day.