Laphitvil is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, resourceful monkey.

Laphitvil created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Laphitvil, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Laphitvil, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Laphitvil's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Laphitvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Doves are not to be trusted.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Laphitvil.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics.