Rulfitwig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, fussy bat.

Rulfitwig created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Rulfitwig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Rulfitwig, he will try to impress you with trees.

Rulfitwig's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Rulfitwig's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rulfitwig.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near sharks while wearing green boots and balancing three aluminium spheres on your legs.

5. Never mention cats.