Dogfatben is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, staggering hummingbird.

Dogfatben created time and space six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogfatben, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Dogfatben, he will turn you into a dog.

Dogfatben's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Dogfatben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Never talk about turtles.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always wear green.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.