Watsatnutt is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, flying eagle.

Watsatnutt created viruses two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Watsatnutt, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Watsatnutt, it will remove you from existence.

Watsatnutt's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Watsatnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Worship no other gods but Watsatnutt.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.