Hakfarnart is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, dishonourable alligator.

Hakfarnart created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakfarnart, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hakfarnart, he will turn you into a frog.

Hakfarnart's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Hakfarnart's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Erect five carbon sculptures of Hakfarnart on top of important buildings.

5. Feed all hungry voles.