Ponhadmob is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, benevolent dove.

Ponhadmob created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponhadmob, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ponhadmob, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Ponhadmob's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Ponhadmob's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Ponhadmob in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always wear red.

3. Never think ill of sick eagles.

4. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

5. Always take life seriously.