Cubpadlim Gunmumbom is a god.

She takes the form of a large, merciful cow.

Cubpadlim Gunmumbom created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Cubpadlim Gunmumbom, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cubpadlim Gunmumbom, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cubpadlim Gunmumbom's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Cubpadlim Gunmumbom's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Cubpadlim Gunmumbom's priests.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never feed aubergines to mites while wearing turquoise jumpers.

5. Always help sick swans.