Bemdundoss is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, quiet fairy.

Bemdundoss created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemdundoss, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bemdundoss, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bemdundoss' most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bemdundoss' Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Retreat if five monkeys approach from the east.

5. Never eat bark.