Yikbossbaf is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, staggering narwhal.

Yikbossbaf created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yikbossbaf, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yikbossbaf, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yikbossbaf's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Yikbossbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. You must pray to Yikbossbaf nine times a day.

3. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

4. Never wear orange ear rings.

5. Do not take Yikbossbaf's name in vain.