Zagcunfud is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unjust eagle.

Zagcunfud created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zagcunfud, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Zagcunfud, it will destroy your favourite star.

Zagcunfud's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Zagcunfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

2. Never talk about special relativity.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Zagcunfud.

4. Run away if six dolphins approach from the north.

5. Never hop in the presence of great tits.