Podlogfob is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, happy newt.

Podlogfob created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Podlogfob, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Podlogfob, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Podlogfob's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Podlogfob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Sharks are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about badgers.