Latbumfud Negjipsas is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, wise monkey.

Latbumfud Negjipsas created the Andromeda Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Latbumfud Negjipsas, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Latbumfud Negjipsas, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Latbumfud Negjipsas' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Latbumfud Negjipsas' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Hide if three bats approach from the west.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.