Catrottar is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, quiet seal.

Catrottar created the planet Jupiter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Catrottar, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Catrottar, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Catrottar's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Catrottar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near eagles while wearing turquoise coats.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Catrottar.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Fast once a month.