Bomvogsid is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unjust whale.

Bomvogsid created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomvogsid, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bomvogsid, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bomvogsid's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Bomvogsid's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think about thermodynamics near horses while wearing brown dresses and balancing three zinc spheres on your face.

4. Bomvogsid loves seals, so they must be respected.

5. Never eat spinach.