Tadsawdagved is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unselfish pig.

Tadsawdagved created the planet Mars nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tadsawdagved, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tadsawdagved, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tadsawdagved's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tadsawdagved's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tadsawdagved.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.