Bittanpon is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unjust shrew.

Bittanpon created the Virgo Supercluster nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bittanpon, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bittanpon, it will curse you with boils.

Bittanpon's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Bittanpon's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bittanpon.

3. Put Bittanpon first in all things.

4. You must never eat figs.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.