Nartlipaf is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ruthless cobra.

Nartlipaf created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartlipaf, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nartlipaf, he will turn you into a hamster.

Nartlipaf's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Nartlipaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured eagles.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Nartlipaf in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never feed tomatoes to ants while wearing tights.